I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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