it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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