So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize