I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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