absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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