he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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