Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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