Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
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Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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