she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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