So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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