Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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