I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
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I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He better not be in your backpack
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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