i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize