My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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