Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
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A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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