so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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