Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize