hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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