ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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