he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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