I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The uberlube is also flammable
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize