Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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