Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize