I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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