it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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