it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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