I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize