it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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