who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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