WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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