take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize