Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
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I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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