If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize