Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize