Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize