I can't watch pbs sober anymore
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize