and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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