Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I supernannyed him into submission
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize