a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize