Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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