I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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