4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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