dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
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You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
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