Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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