my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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