yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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