Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize