How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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