i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize