You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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